The 4th, as related on the 9th.

Hope everyone had a great 4^th of July. I did. And that’s what I’m going to post about. Plus some random and sundry things.
On this great day we celebrate our independence from the tyranny and oppressive rule of a powerful regime. Out numbered, with inferior weapons and only thedesire to live free, our forebearers were able to fight against these terrible odds and destroy those aliens thanks to the bold plan of the Fresh Prince and doctor from Jurassic Park. They fearlessly infiltrated the mother ship and planted a virus with an Apple computer that miraculously destroyed this advanced, space traveling horde.
Anyway, enough history – time for the present.
On this Independence Day, I celebrated my independence from work by playing all day. In the morning, I hit up Transformers with Jeff and Eric. It was awesome – I mean, it’s not going to win any awards (unless there’s a category for “Best Picture That Brings Out The Boy In Every Man”, then it would definitely win). Optimus Prime was one cool machine/alien life-form. And any film with Jon Voight is destined for immortality.
That little party ended around Noon:30 and Paula and I made the trek down south to spend the day in Conyers at the Pyne residence with friends and family. It was really something else, a non-stop foray into fun.First, the weather was really enjoyable for July in Georgia – relatively low humidity, high 80s, low 90s and the shade felt actually felt good – so it opened up a whole other avenue for enjoyment with a wide and versatile range of activities.
We started out with tossing around the ol’ pigskin in the backyard. Always a staple for a 4^th of July celebration. After working up a sweaty sheen, we went inside where a plethora of delicious foods tempted me from my course en route to a victory in the ILTMW Cup (more on that later) but I didn’t flinch. In fact, I didn’t have one cookie, desert, chip or dip the entire day. So eat that, chubby brother. But I did have a couple burgers and several ‘Zero’ beverages and that was sufficient for my needs.
After housing some food off the grill, several of us engaged in a little game called Bocce Ball. It’s a lot of fun and I am pleased to announce my team won a best-of-3 series. It was an intense battle and since it is played with circular objects of varying size and color, there were plenty of wise-cracking, semi-juvenile innuendos. And lots of laughs.
We took a quick beverage break, and then it was to the front yard for some intense Croquet action. I’m pretty sure more time was spent debating the validity of Mark’s ball position in relation to the wicket on the backside than actually was spent competing. As glorious as Bocce was, Croquet was inversely pathetic as few of us could get where we needed to be because we spent so much time trying to hit the other team’s ball into the next zip code. Good times.
Intermixed in these events was a little thing called Guitar Hero 2. For those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s like that Dance Revolution, but infinitely better and incredibly more difficult. And you don't use your feet for anything. And you're playing the guitar, not dancing. That’s about all I can say. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be and I struggled a bit, but managed to lay down a couple sweet tracks before the night was over.
As dusk settled in, it was time to light off some fireworks. Greg and I did the honors. And I almost died. Not really. Papa Cashman had dropped some coin for some less-than-legal fireworks and the came with this cylinder to shoot them out of. The looked like the grenades from Pirates of the Caribbean. It was awesome. Well, I dropped one in the tube and backed up. Then it didn’t leave the tube and the tube exploded in a dizzying array of color, fire and fear. Sort of ended the festivities, but it was fun.
Finally, the guys hooked up the 360’s to the plasma TV’s and engaged in some ferocious Halo 2 warfare until the wee morning hours – the perfect end to a perfect 4^th.

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Regarding ILTMW (I Lost The Most Weight): I’m not going to divulge how much weight I’ve dropped because I don’t know how much my competition has shed; however, I must admit that from the pics posted on their blog, he’s looking slimmer. That binge and purge strategy really seems to be paying dividends...and the fact he’s spending some time at the beach – a good tan goes a long way. Having seen those photos, I’ve had to alter my strategy.
I have a delicious Diet Pill Cocktail for breakfast (TrimSpa, Ripped Fuel, Dexatrim, Cortaslim and Relacore blended together in a Metamucil/ExLax base), another for lunch and then a sensible dinner. Working wonders. I can tell because I’m constantly sweating and my resting heart rate is at 120.

I was going to post something nice about my competition, but I got this little quip in my email:

"This is your brother. The one with his manhood still who doesn't have a facebook account."

Initially, I was hurt by mocking comment regarding my masculinity; then remembered I challenged his manhood throughout college while he shaved his chest. Tit for tat. Or as in that hilarious exchange from The Office:

Dwight K. Schrute: Tit for tit.

Jim Halpert: That is not the expression.

Dwight: Well, it should be.