Drumroll please....

I appreciate the words of encouragement and advice from those who commented on my last post concerning the debate I was having in my mind as to whether or not purchase a television that was actually bigger than the clock hanging in our living room.
There were several comments by Anonymous; the first one sounded like it could be my mother - making the crack about food storage. But then I figured she'd sign her name, so it was some other motherly figure looking out for my little family. Much appreciated...or in the tongue of my wife's ancestors - Muchos Gracias. (BTW, food storage - got it covered.)
The wittiest of all comments was also my Anonymous #2 - buy a smaller clock. Very, very good. Don't be scared to ID yourself next time - this is a safe space for witty retorts.

Well, here's the result of my decision....

Who's your daddy, clock? 51" of unadulterated view pleasure - that's who! You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

Special thanks to Dennis and Nancy for purchasing a beautiful flat panel to hang on their wall, thus freeing up this just in time for college football season. (23 days until kick-off)

Anyone home?

Apparently it’s time to post. I’ve been informed it’s coming up on two months since the last one and that it’s unacceptable. Is there an excuse for such length between posts?
Yep.
Probably more than one.
Seriously, the reason there hasn’t been a post is because I don’t feel like it. The thought of posting has crossed my mind on occasion, but there’s always a reason not to.

• Witty exchanges have been, well, I don’t know. It is definitely possible that all my wit has been used up. Gone. I’m not even 30 yet and the well is dry. A shame.
• The plenty going on politically, but frankly I don’t have the energy right now to post about why voting for Barak is less appealing to me than the loss of an appendage (nothing big – a skin tag, pinky toe or both arms and legs), though not as unappealing as what the Reverend Jackson would remove from Barak.
  
• We’ve had some cool recent adventures, with the Rockband party and the trip out west for Rachell’s wedding and vacation, but Paula’s pretty much covered those with a lot of pics and it would just be rehashing. And if a picture is worth 1000 words…well, it’d be a really long post.
• I’m sports fan, but this is the worst time of the year for sports. June-Aug makes me feel like I’m in a proctologists waiting role and the only magazines available are AARP The Magazine and CosmoGIRL!: agonizing anticipation w/ nothing fill the gaps.

There you have it. I got nothing. Let’s be honest – this post is nothing but blog fodder – a stop gap until something better comes along, like our two presidential candidates.

Can anyone see the gross injustice being made manifest in this picture? Anyone?

I’ll tell you what it is, the travesty that is being plainly manifest in this shot, the obvious black hole of justice that screams at me like a banshee within the quiet walls of my living room: our clock is larger than the TV! This is not an illusion and has nothing to do with depth or distance or the UN. It's science.

O, Justice, where art thou? Thy blindfold doth cause deceit at mine expense!

An opportunity has been presented to right this wrong. I can acquire a large TV at an incredibly low price – seriously, 51 inches of HDTV for under $700 – and I’m 70-30, no, 87-13, that I’m going to pull the trigger on this. What do you say? Should I do it?

Small and White

About three weeks ago Paula and I watched The Sound of Music. I realize this admission challenges my masculinity, but before any smart comments are left, I have two things to say: first, I'd rather be known as one who watches The Sound of Music than The Hills or similar dross; second, it was a Sunday and in the Roberts household we try to keep it mellow on the Sabbath. Growing up, movies such as The Sound of Music or The Ten Commandments where the only approved television viewing and as I’ve reached adulthood, I’ve tried to maintain a level of television abstinence on Sunday, though occasionally there's been digression - particularly during football season.
Anyway, there’s this song on there called Edelweiss and it’s nice, though incidentally it is not German or Austrian in origin and was only written for the movie. Here are the lyrics:

Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Every morning you greet me
Small and white,
clean and bright
You look happy to meet me.
Blossom of snow
may you bloom and grow,
Bloom and grow forever.
Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Bless my homeland forever.

Now, many of you might be wondering “Why is he posting this?” That’s good, because the plan was to lure you in with this off-the-wall intro.
The other week my Xbox 360 was returned – a moment of great joy in my life as it has been out of commission for a few months. It was a glorious moment and I have been enjoying the sound of music that meets my ears every time I turn it on. (You Xboxer’s know the sound of which I speak.)
As I’ve reflected on our reunion, my mind drifts to Captain Von Trapp and I raise my off pitch voice with his rich baritone in tribute to my special small and white emblem of joy:

My X-Box, My X-Box,
In the evenings you greet me.
Square and white,
Clean and bright
You look happy to meet me.
Hours of fun
Under moon or sun,
I could play forever.
My X-Box, my X-Box,
May my thumbs tire never.

Ramblings...and Round 2

Not much has been going on the past couple weeks - work on the house has slowed a bit, not that for a lack of things to do but more to just sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor for a week or two. I have a list of things to get done by the end of the month before Nerf, Lindz and Beckett get here, but it's fairly minor. I did purchase a pair of nice shovels at The Home Depot so I can start to clean the exterior as the weather is shaping up. Good times; chance to work on the farmer's tan.

Last Saturday only a couple hours was spent on the house, after which Paula gave her blessing for me to participate in frivolous guy-time activities. I went over to Greg's where we started up Nitemare Symfony, currently doing shows throughout Europe as we build up a fan-base to get us stateside. That's right - we're rockers now, with over 50,000 fans from Stockholm to Rome. I'm on the drums, Greg on the guitar. We are looking for some vocals and a bass guitarist, so if anyone is interested, let Greg or I know so we can have you come audition during our next jam session. Seriously, we jammed for probably 5 hours, with a couple hours in the middle for a Chick-Fil-A run and screening of Anchorman. Basically, it was awesome.

Speaking of Paula, it was our anniversary this week - Round 2 of a lot of rounds. So far we're both still standing, so that's good. We managed to pick up a house, a daughter, some frequent flyer miles and a couple pounds this second half of this year of marriage, so we were pretty busy. But busy is good; keeps Paula out of mischief. She can really wear me out sometimes - forgetting to do the little things, wasting time gaming and forcing me to go to scary movies - so being busy has slowed her down a bit. She goes to bed at a decent hour now, not staying up till all hours of the night gaming online with teenagers and 40 year old men living with their mothers. Sometimes it's like there are two kids I'm trying to raise and I wonder if she’ll ever help me clean up after dinner. But I love her anyway, and she makes me laugh, so it's cool.

But, moving back to Earth from Bizarro World…

I’ve known I wanted to put a post up in commemoration of two years as The Roberts Family, but I haven’t really known what to say. I reviewed last year’s anniversary post and it was pretty good. I could have probably reposted it, changed a couple things and it would have worked for this year. But that’s sorta weak. And I’m not one to be sensitive, or rather put the sensitivity I may have on display for the world. It’s a conundrum.

As I’ve been thinking about our marriage, it’s led me down some interesting trails of thought – not only about our marriage but relationships in general. Reflecting on why I love Paula and what makes our marriage work, I can’t help but chuckle at the uniqueness of it. A perfect example is how Paula was cool with me being gone from 3pm to 12 am hanging out with Greg; there are a lot of wives who would not have let that happen, or at least not without making their husband feel like the world’s worst. It’s like how we go to the movies theater together but buy tickets for different movies once we get there. She’ll go and watch Becoming Jane while I check out Live Free Or Die Hard.

I'm a big-picture kind of guy - I can see things from a large, long-range view and work from that vantage point to accomplish a task. The little details, however, I am not good at. Not at all. If I can't set up the bill pay online so it's automatic, there will definitely be months where we get a double bill. Finding things around the house is hard for me - not because I have a bad memory, but the thing is usually small and I just miss it.
Conversely, Paula is detail-oriented. She is uber-organized and our house is always spotless; everything has a place and everything in its place; lists abound. People tease her about it (myself included) but make no mistake - if there's something that needs to be done that has a lot of moving parts, Paula gets the phone call. It's not a glamorous talent but is one that our household could go without. Now that Paula's learning Quicken, we'll never get our phone disconnected because I forgot to pay it (it happened - twice) and we are going to save over $600 a year in car insurance because she's so good at the details. When it comes to matters on the home front, I can honestly say I have no worries

As I was reflecting on our differences I was surprised how many things we differ on. I thought we had a ton in common – and we do; the list is easily as long of things we have in common – but there is a lot we are different on, or the one has a strength that is the other's weak point. It ends up being quite a complimentary pairing:

Paula: Details/Current needs
Logan: Big Picture/Long term needs

Paula: Organized
Logan: Scattered

Paula: Little
Logan: Big

Paula: Academic/Studious
Logan: Carefree/Relaxed

Paula: Woman
Logan: Man

Paula: Sensitive
Logan: If I have to be

Paula: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Logan: Band of Brothers

Paula: Brown
Logan: White

As you can see, the balance is uncanny.
In previous relationships, I was always doing 'sweet' things - writing flowery prose, elaborate gifts, driving hundreds (even thousands) of miles for the other half of the relationship. I don't do that now - I don't think I've ever written a poem or the like for Paula. And it doesn't have anything to do with my affections for her, because I love her far more then anyone else - look at the lengths I went to even be in a position to date her (quit job, ended relationship, moved to different state, etc...)
The reason I did those things before was because I was putting everything I could into the relationship and it wasn't enough, so I had to put more in to sustain it. In every one of those relationships, my emotional bank account became overdrawn and the relationship would crumble and end.

I never feel like I have to give more than I can with Paula; sure, there’s times when more is required of me (or vice versa) and we have to dig into some emotional savings, but it’s the exception, not the rule. It’s an incredible and reassuring feeling to know your best is enough for your other half – whether in business, friendship or marriage, the principal remains the same – and that your shortcomings will be accounted for and forgiven as long as you keep trying. If one person is always making all the effort to keep the relationship together, or one is making constant demands with little return, the relationship will crumble and end.

Anyway, this became a lot longer than I thought it would be; still, I have the whole internet, so why not? Just thought the world should know my wife is awesome, let’s me be me while keeping me heading to a better version – Logan 2.0 – and that’s why I love her.

Week in Review

I’ll tell you what – it’s been one of those weeks. In a good way. Nothing incredibly profound or extraordinary, like winning a million dollars or having all the Dems experience an enlightening and turn from their path to socialism, but good nonetheless.

First, and perhaps most importantly I finished the fight. Master Chief (Spartan 117) again defied fate and saved Earth and the universe from the sinister parasite Gravemind and the delude Covenant. It wasn't easy and there were casualties everywhere - like my sleep. But freedom isn't free. Nor is it won without sacrifice.
I’d like to thank those that made this possible. First my wife for allowing me to dabble in silly things like video games and loving me anyway; my well exercised thumbs for the nimbleness and cat-like reflexes on the analog controller; Microsoft, for their aggressive and dominating marketing that hooked me; Archie, Zach and Nathan for countless hours of mayhem; and my new partner in Xboxing, my daughter Lydia.

Second, the Cougars of BYU pulled off a road win. This is no little task, especially since BYU is located in Utah and the state was 0-11 in road games this year until last night. I didn’t realize that New Mexico was 4-0 going into the game and that it was their homecoming, so this win is a little more impressive than it normally would. I’ve determined that we’re just a young team and as such, prone to some nervous mistakes. That’s good news for the future. Lydia was especially excited with the win, as evidenced by her wide-eyed, floppy headed gaze into the heavens and the fact she wanted me to enjoy her pacifier for her.
Editor's Note: The awesome BYU onesie is from the Sucher family. In the words of my wife's forebearers - Muchos Gracias.

Next, the season premier of The Office was this week. Not only would this normally be awesome, but the fact it was an hour long episode was icing on an already amazing cake. Three more weeks of hour long episodes...need I say more?

Also, I got a notice from Equifax that my credit score went up and it changes the rate at which I’d get a mortgage. I don’t understand this whole credit score thing and after reading up multiple times on it, I don’t think anyone does. There’s no clear cut criterion for what makes your FICO score what it is; my speculation is that credit scores were created the same way the doctrine of modern day Christianity was at Nicene: some one in charge who knew nothing about credit got together a bunch of accountants and told them to come up with some number system, though none of them really agreed about the body, parts or passions of the score. But it was the best they could do.
The reason I say this is because I have 0 (zero) debt of any kind. None. I carry no balances on any of my credit cards. I have 1 (one) delinquency notice three years ago on a Kohl’s card I didn’t know I had, but it’s only a month over due. But people with car payments and student loans and such have a better score than I do. Doesn’t make sense.

Anyway, the reason this is good news is because the house we had made a bid on a couple months back and lost on is available again. The contract fell through the seller agent called our agent and told her even before the contract was terminated that she thought it would and we should be ready to offer again. So we did on Friday. Who knows – I could be a home owner soon. Weird and wild stuff. Married with a kid and owning a home. I feel so established. And grown up.

Good thing I have an Xbox to clearly illustrate I’m not.

Finishing the Fight

Obligatory Baby Update: Lydia is doing well, just eating sleeping and soiling diapers. Not a bad gig, you know? She had an appointment with the pediatrician Monday and got a clean bill of health. In fact, she's gained two ounces since we brought her home last Thursday. Today she's a week old and as beautiful as ever (maybe more so). Half of my sleep deprivation comes at my own expense, wanting to hold her and look at her instead of actually getting sleep like I should. Oh well. Sleep will be there when I'm old and gumming up my food; my baby girl is only a baby for a little bit.

Well, today is the day. Master Chief is back to take on the Covenant horde, this time on Earth, in the final installment of the Halo Trilogy. I'm pretty excited about it and plan on picking up my copy on the way home from work today. I may even splurge and go with the Legendary Edition for an extra $15.

I'm not going to go into too much detail about the Halo Trilogy except that it revolutionized gaming and has a rich and compelling story line. (For those who want to learn more or if you lady's would like to read up and impress the men in your life with your intimate knowledge of the storyline, check it out here for an overview. Don't be afraid to click on some links to learn more.) And, like everything, it's exciting to have some kind of closure. Basically, without Halo 3 it would be like JK Rowling never penning HP and the Deathly Hallows - it would be frustrating and agonizing.

For those who say "What's the big deal?" let me throw some knowledge your way. The original Halo came was and is considered one of the greatest video games of all time and put the Microsoft gaming industry on the map, positioning it in the running with Sony and Nintendo. Halo 2 racked up $125 million in sales within the first 24 hours of its release; prior to the release today, there were well over 1 million pre-ordered copies of the game. The first two games have sold over 15 million copies worldwide since the original release in 2001. Even the stock market has reacted to the release of H3, with Microsoft stock rising 3.35 percent at one point.

Yes, Halo is just a video game. No, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. But either do shoe styles. Or trendy clothing. Or Harry Potter. (That sudden drop in oxygen levels are Pottheads everywhere gasping in dismay.) Or anything related to Hollywood and their ilk. It's simply a welcome distraction to the mundane; a guilty pleasure like Double Stuffed Oreo's and a glass of whole milk.
Except without the fat and calories and regret...and you save the world.

This first video is a teaser trailer. Very exciting.


This video is also a teaser trailer. More exciting.


This is a unique trailer done with a still frame diorama. Different and cool. Interact here.

Halo 3 - Believe 90 Second TV Spot

Boys Will Be Boys (as they should be)

Well, I’m back. It’s been three weeks. What do you do?
Friday night we went to the ESPNZone in Buckhead to celebrate Todd’s birthday. He’s 25…to be young again….
Anyway, it was fun. The most enjoyable part for me was hanging out and playin’ with the guys. It all started as Greg (aka Dr. Pyne) and I were looking over the overpriced menus. Greg and I are tight. It’s always good to visit/chill with Greg because we are similar in many ways – intelligent, well spoken, good humored and ruggedly good looking – plus he reminds me of Jack from the greatest TV show ever, “Lost”. And who wouldn’t want to pal around with Jack Shepard? Seriously. Even though he’s been acting a little off since his stint with the others; but he sure looks like he’s back in old Jack mode now, especially after last week’s awesome episode. And Juliette? Arrgghh...I can't figure out if she's really come clean or if she's still plotting against the Losties and still with the Others. I’m stoked for these last two episodes…so yeah, Greg and I get along just fine.
Like I said, we were looking over the grub and he pointed out the “Triple Double” burger – two 8oz slabs of hot beef, each topped with some delicious American cheese. The conversation went something like…
GREG: Did you see this one? (Points to the Triple Double)
ME: Yeah, I did.
GREG: That’s a big burger. (I sense he’s about to dare me)
ME: Yeah it is.
GREG: I don’t think you can eat it.
ME: Care to make it interesting?
The wager was the cost of the meal: If I could throw down the burger, he’d pay the $13.99 (told you it was overpriced) for my meal; if I couldn’t hack it, I’d spot him the same price worth of arcade games upstairs following the meal. Let’s just say there is such a thing as a free lunch. Thanks, Greg.
Anyway, we all went upstairs and played some pretty intense games. The pictures are of two particularly challenging forms of recreation.
One is called Rapid River and you have to do all this paddling as this machine throws you all over the place and makes you want to upchuck all 16oz of not-hot-anymore, masticated bovine. Man, it was awful. But I managed to finish it in time to make the bonus round, so total worth it.

(Here I am raging on the Rapid River. I almost died. Greg's in the background, cheering me on.)

These next two shots are of the Horse Derby Racing game. Paula said she was sure we were going to break that thing, it was rocking so hard. I think I finished 3rd out of 4 races; pretty sure mark won. It was brutal. In this picture you can see my can is definitely the largest of the group. It makes me think I shouldn’t do anymore 1 pound challenges.

It was a great night. There’s just something about hanging out with the guys every once and a while that’s good for a man’s soul. There’s this guy in our ward (married for a few years) who says that when you get married, that’s it. Just learn to say “Yes, dear” and tuck your tail between your legs and you’re done. Whatever. I’m SO grateful that I married a woman who is totally down with me chillin’ with the guys. That’s not only pitiful but tragic. The guys need to be able to get together and do manly things – laugh, swap one-liners from classic movies, compete with each other, rough-house, swap manly stories and in the morning, I make waffles. This is what men need – because guys like Greg and the Nerf, Arch and Zach, Ben and Will and I…we’re men, men who built the Eiffel Tower out of brawn…and steel. That’s what kind of men we are.
A final note, you’ll notice I put my brother Ben in the mix up there. Growing up, Ben was lumped with Forrest as ‘the little boys” while Nathan and I were ‘the big boys’. Well, this last weekend Ben performed an incredible feat of strength. During the week at work, the wood chipper wasn’t working and so he was working on it when some numbskull cranked the teeth (manually) and caught Ben’s hand in there. It was all jacked up. So what does Ben do? Not much except go and compete in a 63 mile bicycling race and finish 1st. Freak. The boy is a freak – in a good way – and is hands down the toughest guy I know. And the only Roberts (male or female) who could pull off wearing spandex. Props to you little (and evidently tougher) brother. Props to you.

"Since You've Been Gone...

...I can breathe for the first time. Since you've been go-One..." Oh...this is a little embarrassing; you've caught me in a Kelly moment. Sheesh.
It’s been a while since I've posted, (the song reference was to this lapse, not my wife being out of town last week) so I’m just going to throw together a hodgepodge of events that have occurred because I have neither the time nor the inclination to write detailed descriptions. Plus, it’s sort of fun to have a fast, quick hitting post.

The Bachelor – Paula went to Utah this past week to hangout with her best friend Kami who just got back from her 1 ½ year church mission in Taiwan. So while they spent money and talked about the intricacies of Kami’s newest boy-toy out in the Rockies, I embraced one of the Seven Deadly Sins – sloth. I didn’t do a thing on my three-day weekend – between sleeping, Xboxing and sleeping, there wasn’t any time. When in Rome…

6 Degrees – I got this call from my brother Nathan late Friday night, almost Saturday morning. I missed it because i was in the other room, but the voicemail was: "Hey man, call me as soon as you get this." Then there was a text message with the same request. So I did. Twice. With no answer. I'm a little nervous, so the next morning I call. The urgent incident that made me worry? "Hey, I'm hanging out with Michael Eav and he has a good one for you for '6 Degrees to Kevin Bacon' and I wanted you to try it." (Hulk Hogan was in Rocky 3 with Sylvester Stalone [1] who was in Demolition Man with Benjamin Bratt [2] who was in Red Planet with Val Kilmer [3] who was in Top Gun with Tom Cruise [4] who was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon [5]. 'YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!')

The Big Chill – A couple weekends ago we were invited to Augusta to visit Greg and Melissa, our friends who recently embraced the connubial life. (Great word; look it up) In all we had a crew of 11 people at their house, ages 25 to 31, eating and laughing and eating some more. It was pretty awesome. I’d say the highlight of everyone’s weekend was the many different facial hair motifs of Greg. It started with a beard, transitioned to biker/mechanic and ended with this mustache that...how do I say this...you frequently see on an episode of Dateline’s ‘To Catch a Predator’ series. Hilarious.

Epitomizing Meatheads – I love BYU football. Love it; want it; need it. Anyway, this weekend a couple of morons were arrested for burglary when they went after some guys who tossed a water balloon out a window that got one of their girls. You can read the details here, but suffice it to say this linebacker and tight end kicked in a couple doors looking for the mischievous aqua-bomb lobbers. The funniest thing is the second door they kicked in was the right one, but the perps were hiding in a closet and the police showed up in the nick of time. Awesome.

It’s All About Sex – In a couple of weeks, (April 23rd) we find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. Yikes. The moment of truth. I think most people would have been nervous that they were expecting a child; not me. I’m nervous to find out what it is. If it’s a boy, I’ll be excited and not too nervous – my confidence is strong to very strong when it comes to raising a boy. If it’s a girl…I might need meds. I have no clue what to do with a girl. There are questions, no answers: How do I discipline her? How do I protect her? What do we name her? What happens if she looks like me? How will I console her if no boys ask her out on a date? How will Paula console me when they do? Most important: how can I decorate my daughter’s room in Cougar Blue?! AARRGHHH!

The Century Mark – Soon I’ll hit my 100th post. Like this week maybe. That’s a lot of posts. On Seinfeld, for the 100th episode they did this collage of episodes that was hilarious. Maybe I’ll do the same thing. The Greatest Posts in Cyber Commorancy History. Feel free to cast your votes. I think it might be a very small post. Here’s the plan: leave a comment about your favorite post. And I’ll share those with the world. Unless I don’t get a lot, then I’ll make some up. In a different font. With flashing lights. And streamers. Yeah, definitely streamers.