Pork everywhere!

Fat
I had a revelation while attempting to play basketball over Thanksgiving – I am fat. And out of shape. And fat.

This wasn’t so much a revelation as a culmination: the inverse ratio of diminishing jaw-line to increasing waistline was a fair indicator; it seemed my gut was expanding faster than the federal government. But it wasn’t until trying to run up and down a court that the painful and embarrassing reality filled every fiber of my being…particularly my atrophied lungs.

Fortunately this basketball game was in Wyoming, so my buddy Nick was there and he is in excellent shape thanks to a little something called P90X. This is one of those workout programs you see advertised late at night, sandwiched between infomercials promising riches by selling your old nail clippings and how to get more hair – and women – by strapping a cat to your head; I was skeptical.

But Nick’s diamond-stamped triceps and his ability to run up and down the court like a gazelle across the Serengeti was proof enough for me that this was something that I needed to do. Along comes Christmas and with it P90X – 12 DVD’s that would act as the harbinger of death for my gelatinous body.

Well, I’m on week three (technically Week 4, but Week 1 was such a mess that I decided to scrap it) of the program and this is what I’ve discovered so far: first, P90X is code for ‘welcome to hell’; second, I was much farther down the road to blobness than I anticipated; third, P90X is awesome.

Anyway, there’s my endorsement for the program. Definitely something that will work you over, but something that is enjoyable and that produces results. I’m not going to hit the beach anytime soon, but my reps have increased each week and there is even a certain level of enjoyment as my body is abused by Tony Horton.

Fatter

Everyone give a hand to the federal government for strapping us and our children with nearly $2 trillion (2,000,000,000,000). Really excited about this, the total bill between TARP and the “stimulus” is going to end up being nearly $10 trillion (9,700,000,000,000). No big deal – just going to cost my daughter and her family nearly 80% of their gross income to make up the difference. Thank goodness for Big Brother taking care of us all.

I wonder if there’s any administration in history that has done so much to hurt our nation so quickly after coming into office. I haven’t the time or the energy to talk about it all, so I’m going to provide some links and you all can check it out.

Links that should make you think:

Universal healthcare is on its way

Play now, pay later

Breaking down the cost

Stimulus 101

Tax cuts don't work? Please...

Making a case for C-Mak

Don't forget to become a Cyber Commoron! (see previous post)

The powers-that-be at ING have shutdown all personal email access, so I don’t get to check the ol’ Gmail account much – every other day or so. Anyway, the other day when I did check I had a message from my buddy Nick expressing his concern for my political soul after reading my endorsement of Cynthia McKinney for President of these United States. Additionally he asked for why I would support the former Congresswoman of Georgia.

All of you know of my love for the club. There’s nothing that brings me more joy that slipping into some pleather and rollin’ up onto the scene with the bass-line thumpin’ in the Camry. Clubbin’ is my happy place. For me and other members of the Hip-Hip Generation, Cynthia McKinney (C-Mak, as we call her) is our girl.

“Cynthia McKinney is a strong advocate, mentor and supporter of the Hip-Hop community. Her unique popularity among the members of the Hip-Hop generation and young people across the United States of America has made her a trusted voice on behalf of producers, retailers and consumers of Hip-Hop entertainment.” Posted on her website before losing seat in Congress

This fact alone is sufficient means for me to vote for C-Mak. Of course, there might be some who are not members of the HHG who need more reasons cast their vote for C-Mak come November. Here are some that might help:

1. C-Mak is an expert on race-relations. Skirted the metal detectors on Capital Hill but did not wear the pin required to identify her as a Congresswoman. When the security guard stopped her by grabbing her shoulder after repeatedly calling after her to stop, she punched him. In a move learned from our greatest ambassadors for racial peace (Jesse Jackson, Harry Belafonte, Louis Farrakhan, Jeremiah Wright), she said chalked up the incident to racial profiling. Some may see this as divisive but I see it as resourceful. See, when Crazy Hugo Chavez, or Putin’s puppet President (alliteration), are starting up some ruckus with us, she’ll play break out the race/gender cards and BAM! the ACLU will be all over those guys! No one can beat the ACLU. Crisis averted.
2. The woman knows how to run an effective, clean campaign. In 1996 when she called her opponent’s supporters "holdovers from the Civil War days" and "a ragtag group of neo-Confederates", even though the guy was Jewish. And there was that other time in 2000 when she wrote “Gore's Negro tolerance level has never been too high. I've never known him to have more than one black person around him at any given time” even though Mr. Internet’s campaign manager was black. The best example of her graciousness in defeat was expressed by her father after her loss in 2002: A reporter asked Billy McKinney about his daughter's use of an old endorsement from former Atlanta mayor Andrew Young. Such endorsements were worthless, Papa McKinney replied, because "Jews have bought everybody. Jews."
3. C-Mak is intimately involved with the War on Terror, as illustrated by the fact her list of campaign donors while a Congresswoman included both terrorist sympathizers like Abdurahman Alamoudi, the former executive director of the American Muslim Council, and actual terrorists like former college professor Sami Al-Arian. Don’t think this isn’t a strength; it means she already has an in with the terrorists and we all know they’d never let anything happen to their own – except for those guys they strap with explosives and send into areas with large amounts of people.

There it is – my case of Cynthia McKinney. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a drink of water. My tongue fell asleep after being in my cheek so long.

Stampin' mad: Still Stampin'

Wow.
Opinions concerning food stamps/Medicaid/WIC exceed those of piercing the ears of babies and the joy of Xboxing as expressed by Capt. Von Trapp. Who knew? The post also registered the best name-calling comment ever: I'm a Cyber Commoron. Well played. Even Hyrum Steed can’t top that. (Natalie, you could use that as the link for my blog!)
In the midst of writing the previous post it was apparent a follow up post would be needed; Paula emphasized this as the comments piled up, concerned about the brash approach and potential ramifications amongst friends and associates. The comments (if you haven’t read them all, I highly encourage you to) were insightful and branched out from food stamps, engendering questions – which comments, by the way, are much appreciated – regarding other forms of government welfare.
Ames Family and Anonymous: no worries about arguing. I see nothing wrong with an honest one. Today’s world treats the expression of a firm opinion or argument as taboo because it might offend; hence, many important topics aren’t discussed at depth and we sojourn on in shallow, meaningless drivel. Dissenting (sincere) comments are more than welcome. Just another reason I’ll always allow anonymous comments, never go private or delete a comment (unless it’s crude, vulgar, or damages my ego).

Now, on with the show.
The use of Medicaid and WIC (Women, Infants, Children) usage when young and in school was mentioned several times. I’ll give my opinion on each separately, starting with Medicaid/Medicare.
Health insurance provided by universities are generally expensive and what is covered still puts a lot back on the individual; in case of emergency you could be staring at a $10k-plus bill. Those types of bills are no fun when it’s for something you plan on, much less when it’s unexpected.
That being said, my thoughts about Medicaid are the same as food stamps. My reasoning for placing the two together is because they are built upon the same premise –it is acceptable for Party C to take (forcefully) from Party A and distribute to Party B as C feels appropriate. The fundamental approach of the system is a corrupt (meaning “to alter from the original or correct form or version”) form of welfare or charity and my its very nature encourages abuse.

An indulgent personal experience.
Shortly before being married I had an emergency appendectomy. I had no insurance, was recent college grad and had been working for about 3 months (I was a contract employee and expensive health care was my only option, which I opted out of); much to my chagrin, the hospital bill and associated fees were in excess of $22,000. I didn’t qualify for government aid because I had a job, which I thought ironic since every paycheck had money taken from me for Medicare/Medicaid. Many stressful days, letters, phone calls and negotiations later I ended up with bills totaling just under $5k.

I had the best intentions to stay debt free – never had one once of debt up to that point and not because of mommy and daddy’s pocketbook – but a service was rendered in which my life was saved. What right did I have to expect someone else to foot this bill? Or to have the doctors and nurses to eat it just because I wasn’t planning on it? Nope. I’m not entitled to that just because I exist and happen to be honest. So it was necessary to do some footwork and work the bill down and then pay it.

Serious introspection would show misplaced priorities. Some people are willing to take on debt for furniture; many will take on the beast when purchasing a vehicle; I know of no one who paid (their own) cash for their first home. None of these things are essential to our survival. So why is our expectation to have the government prevent us from debt when our lives are preserved with surgery or medical intervention or when a beautiful child comes into this world? Should we only go into debt for what we want, not what we need? Such expectations are naive and indulgent.

Regarding WIC…toss it in with the other two. Or place it gently with them. Either way that is where it belongs, for the premise upon which means are provided is corrupt and encourages abuse. Instead of going to and expecting our government to fund the bill, how about family? Parents, brothers and sisters. If there is not sufficient in these resources, what about the church? Having served as the Executive Secretary in our last ward, I know first hand that food orders and assistance is provided. Generously provided.
While serving in this position, there were many who asked for help when they were spending money on cable TV, movies, eating out, clothing from places other than Goodwill or DI, pet food, etc…and were hesitant to give up these things to make ends meet. It’s would be like me refusing to give up my Xbox Live membership while there are bills I can’t pay. It’s self-centered and arrogant.
I’ll have to disagree with Zach’s (tongue-in-cheek) comment – the Constitution makes no provision for keeping up with the Jones’s. Nor should it. When entitlement of comfortable living becomes our norm, stripped away is choice and accountability, replace with the chain of bondage to our provider. Sounds like the plan of someone a long, long time ago. And we know how that ended. There’s only one Provider I want to be indebted to for my existence.

And there your have it: my opinions regarding government assistance.
Let it be clear I have no problem with charity or welfare when administered correctly. Careful reading of both posts will reveal no opposition of giving/getting help. Never. I get significant tax breaks with of the percentage of my income that goes to charity. I’m not bragging or trying to be self-righteous. It just needs to be clear I give and give without compulsion.
What makes me Stampin’ Mad is the pseudo-charity created by compulsory means – forcing A to give to C, who then decides how it will be used for B. True, honest, sincere welfare is created by individuals who want and are willing to give, not forced to. In this way both the giver and receiver are blessed temporally and spiritually. And this charity does exist. (Some examples.)

Here’s the real question:
Why turn to government for assistance? Why turn to a source that cares and knows nothing about you instead of turning to those with our best interests at heart and love us? Probably because government is faceless; the government won’t see us sitting outside the bishop’s office and leaving with a food order; because we don’t have to face the government at family events.
Speaking personally, it requires a lot of humility to approach those who know me best and love me with my hand out for help, admitting that I’m not making it my own. Something faceless and removed is easier because there is no connection, no bond. But maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, if this gets any longer no one will read it.
In summation, those commenting who have used Medicaid or WIC, I don’t think you’re manipulative or lazy. I wanna make that clear. If you were, I think there’d of been CURSING IN ALL CAPS in your comments.
My hope is everyone will reexamine where we go for help and what the cost is. When we go to those who give willingly, the only thing we surrender is our pride and vanity; when we go to that which gives through force, we lose our freedom and our agency. Is it even possible a system that forcefully takes from one to redistribute to another can be good and moral? Hopefully, if situations arise in the future where help is needed, this corrupt system will not be the source we turn to.

Stampin' mad

Time for a little ragin’ about the welfare/social state of our nation Readers beware: you are entering a logic and reason zone: check your emotional, bleeding-heart ways at the door. Buckle up, kids. It's gonna be bumpy

The AP released a news article about the plight of individuals who use food stamps as a means to feed themselves are having problems because the price of food is going up. The article starts by featuring Danielle Brown, a single mother of two (ages 1 and 3), who says “Ain’t got no food left, the kids are probably hungry” as she shops with her new allotment on the first of the month. She reports that the money for food ran out two weeks ago.
This is tragic – I mean, what meager, insufficient amount of money are we, the tax-payers, giving to this woman so that it is gone after just two weeks. $100? $150? $200 at the most, right? Wrong. Danielle Brown gets $312 a month. For food. And she blows it in just 2 weeks. I’m not very good at math, but if we say Danielle needs money for four weeks of food a month, then she apparently deserves $624 to feed herself and two child under 5 years old!
Also featured is Lynda Wheeler, another single mother with a 14 year old son and a 2 year old daughter are in a similar pickle – running out of money by the 15^th – with $281 a month. So Lynda needs $562 a month, apparently. Here’s a picture of Lynda buying packaged meals at One Stop Food & Liquors. A couple observations:

• Lynda doesn't look like she ran out of food 2 weeks ago
• If you are running out of money (or someone else’s, in this case), why buy instant/pre-cooked dinners?
• Going out on a limb that One Stop Food and Liquors isn’t the best place to get a deal on groceries.

What the h#@! is going on here?! Seriously. Both of these women get more money to provide food for less consumption than my household budgets for food in a month! Why in the world should one adult and two pre-k children burn through $312 in a month, much less two weeks! AARRGHHHH!
This is ri-goshdarn-diculous. The real kicker, what really gets under my skin is that the attitude is not one of thanks or appreciation. I'd be ecstatic if someone gave me $300 a month for food. But none of that here. Somehow, because they breathe, they are entitled to have other people supply for their needs. And they need more.
Heaven forbid a person has to get up off their obese behind, get out the door and WORK. O, the degradation of having to work two jobs! How dare anyone have to work more than 40 hours a week to make ends meet! I'm pretty sure it says in the Constitution says that if a high school education and 40 hours a week doesn't allow me to have digital cable, a cell phone and a constantly stocked fridge, it is the duty of the government to step in and take care of me.
What bull.

I’m about to make a statement – a broad, insensitive, generalizing, stereotyping statement. So, if you are nervous, please navigate away from this and come back in a week or so when something else is posted. Here it goes:
No self-respecting person who is not disabled, physically or mentally, should rely on our government to provide for their daily needs. Those who do are leaching, lazy and dishonest people who have no moral fiber, no pride in themselves and no sense of self worth.
I will never – never – walk down that road.
For those who now (if you didn’t before) think I’m arrogant and condescending, let me legitimize your thought: You’re an idiot. Now you have just cause to believe I’m arrogant and condescending.
The reason I will never accept government money for my daily needs is because if I do, I am condoning the act of taking by force (taxes) the property (money) of another to supply for my needs. I would be saying I am entitled to your money while you are not. Why? Because I’m alive, that’s why.
Someone tell me that's not arrogant and condescending.

Proud product of Public Schools

Okay. The tragic hilarity of this is indescribable. This contestant from South Carolina in the Miss Teen USA pageant was asked a simple question. And she Finkled it. Totally and unequivocally destroyed it. To me the best part is Mario Lopez (the host) trying not to bust out laughing.




If you can't understand what she said, here's the transcript.

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

I'm not sure home school is the answer; however, I hear people mocking the kids who are home schooled as socially inept. This Lauren Caitlin Upton is making a strong case that the most damaged come from our lovely government sponsored schools. Good thing she aspires to be a model when grows up.

"Everybody Knows...

The world is full of stupid people..." - The Refreshments, Banditos

I am so tired of the mentality that permeates society regarding actions and consequence. Just now I was watching ABC News – one of the only major network news broadcasts I can stomach – and there was a report on the mortgage crisis in our country. A couple people were highlighted who are experiencing the crunch because they got into a mortgage that was way over their head. One lady started crying because the bank told her a couple days before Christmas that the home was going into foreclosure. Some wacko in a bright yellow t-shirt said “The mortgage company got us in this situation and they need to get us out of it.”

Here in Atlanta we’ve been dealing with the Mike Vick situation. For those of you who don’t keep up with news, Vick has agreed to plea out to charges that include dog fighting (illegal), gambling (illegal), cruelty to animals (illegal), and other (illegal) conduct. There’s a stink being raised in some corners that it’s not fair Vick be subjected to these charges because people have done worse and the government is out to make an example of someone and this poor, misunderstood athlete with a $130 million contract is the victim of or prejudice society. Additionally, the Atlanta chapter of the NAACP has said that Mike Vick deserves a chance to play in the NFL after he serves his time.

Of course the illegal immigration issue rages one. Somehow it is the heartless, unwelcoming rich people that don’t want the illegal immigrants here; if the Statue of Liberty could cry she would because we are turning away so many poor and needy people. The same people who taxpayers foot the bill for when they become sick, when they have babies, when they need food.

AARRGGHHH!!!!!!

I’ve had it up to here (since you can’t see, I’m pointing to my receding hairline) with the sob stories of individuals who chose to engage in high risk behavior and then when it’s time to pay the piper, they through themselves a pity party and wonder why they are being picked on.

With the mortgage issues: Don’t blame the mortgage company because you decided to go with an ARM or an Interest-Only loan and now you can’t afford it. Is it the mortgage company’s fault you bit off more than you could chew? It’s not like it’s your house. If you had to borrow the money to buy the house, it isn’t yours. Live in an apartment; try a smaller house; it’s so awful you can’t live where all the ‘cool’ (outrageously in debt) people live next to the trendy shops you can’t afford. If you can’t afford it, DON’T BUY IT! Show some self-discipline and go with out. The mortgage company is a COMPANY. They are out to make MONEY. The only reason they care if you get a house is because it means that agent can bring home some cash so he can pay his own mortgage.

The Vick debacle: What Mike did was ILLEGAL. Have people done worse and not gone to the slammer (Ray Lewis – watched two people get killed and did nothing; Leonard Little – killed some folks while driving drunk; OJ Simpson – well, you know this one)? Sure. Does it change the fact Mike associated with the dregs of society, financed them and broke the law? No. And it’s not Vick’s right to play in the NFL again. The NFL is a business, a multi-billion dollar organization. Like any business, it’s their prerogative to decide who will be best able to further their enterprise. I don’t care if Vick plays again. If some owner wants to take that on, that’s his choice; but it’s not some obligation they should have. If I owned a business and someone told me I had to hire an individual that would damage my image, I’d kindly show them the door.

Illegal Immigration: For me it’s so much more than the financial or economic ramifications of illegal immigration. Tell the 3000+ people who lost their lives on 9/11 that illegal immigration is okay and their no threat to our nation. There’s no hating on Hispanics – those who make up the majority of illegal immigrants in the US – with this. It’s about security. There are people out there – and thanks to our porous borders and jacked up system, in here – who wouldn’t hesitate to do you or I harm simply because we were born in the US and we support the Constitution. The Fort Dix Six are the perfect example of illegal immigration problems. The unwed teenage mothers at the high school Paula taught at who go to the clinic to have the baby they can’t afford…who foots the bill? You and I.

The fact of the matter is all men aren’t created equal. Sorry. They aren’t. Some people are attractive, some are ugly; some are fat, some are skinny, some are perfect; some are intelligent, some are dumb as rocks; some people are lazy, some people work hard; some people have handicaps, some don’t; some people are rich, some are poor. It’s the way it goes.

That being said, everyone starts out with the right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. That doesn’t mean it’s our inalienable right to be happy; it means we all – short or tall, dumb or smart, rich or poor – have the right to pursue what is called happiness. It doesn’t mean you get it. It doesn’t mean that despite participating in illegal activities, making foolish choices or leaching off the system we still get to be happy. It doesn’t even mean that because we are good, hard-working, upstanding people trying as hard as we can that we’ll be happy. Happy is a state of being, not a position or pay scale. Sometimes life is just a kick in the pants. My hat is off to those who obey the law, build up people and society and still don’t have everything they want but choose to be happy rather than play the blame game.

That’s all. I’m done. I’m apologizing in advance for any grammatical errors as this was written in the height of emotion.

I blame Microsoft for not having a better grammar and spell check.

Bill Gates started this problem and he needs to fix it.

A Call To Arms

To the faithful readers, good to see you again; to the occasional passerby, greetings; to the crazy people, um…yikes; to the new visitor, welcome.
If I was a drinking man, I think this would be a hangover Monday. I’m dead tired; Sunday’s are not a day of rest for me anymore – they are flat out tiring. Yesterday, for example, I was busy with church from 9:30 to 6:30. What do you do? I’m trying to up and going this morning with some recently purchased 90’s tunes via iTunes. Inside Out (Eve 6), Santeria (Sublime), Zip-Lock (Lit), Water’s Edge (Seven Mary Three), Self-Esteem (The Offspring), Plush (STP)…just something to shake my mind loose from the cobwebs.
Fortunately I was spared this morning’s conference call with our offshore team in India. That would have been especially cruel irony to my beleaguered mind.
I was involved with my first one on Friday. Terribly brutal; Root-canal-minus-Novocain kind of brutal. There’s just something lost in translation and – this is going to be hard to believe – they don’t find me remotely funny or clever. I know; I couldn’t believe it either. Crazy but true. After it was over, I just dropped my head on to my desk, weeping in despair. (Kidding. Crying? There's no crying in Secuirty.) I said to my manager I was sorry it went so poortly and he told me not to worry about it, that most calls are straight business and humor isn’t something us and the Indians have in common.
I don’t often touch on church related items here at Cyber Commorancy; it’s not that I’m opposed, I just don’t. But I am here. And the irony is that I’m doing it in the same post I mention Santeria.
Yesterday in Elders Quorum our lesson came from a talk given by D. Todd Christofferson in the October General Conference entitled “Let Us Be Men”. It was one of my favorite talks then and I was happy to have it as a lesson; should I have sons, it will be something I will give them as they enter their teenage years. What it means to be a man has become so convoluted in today’s world that without specific direction, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find example of true manhood. Well, you can click on the link to the talk for a more inspired approach to what it means to be a man; I’m going to go on a little diatribe about what I think makes a man here below.

A man takes responsibility for his actions. No ones perfect, but a man doesn't use that as an excuse for his shortcomings. When he does falter, he fesses up and doesn’t blame society or the government for his errors. It's his bad and he'll take care of it; and if he needs help, he'll man up and ask for it. But he doesn't pass the buck.
A man sacrifices passion to principle. Today a man is measured by the number of women he’s been with or the size of his bank account or his athleticism. Right. Like it’s hard these days to have sex with strange and random women; a real man puts off impulsive, base desires for a greater good – righteousness.
A man acknowledges his weaknesses. It’s not easy to admit fault and shortcomings, which is why it really takes a man to do it. No one is perfect; no one expects us to be perfect. So don't be a poser because we all know you're lying. A man can embrace his weakness and make it a strengh. And then not make the same mistake again.
A real man is a leader because he’s a good follower. Playing off the last point, no matter who you are, there’s always someone who’s done it better; no man is going to get it all down pat in this life. That's why mortality is a probationary state, a proving ground for the eternities. A real man can admit that and learn from those who have; as he learns, he leads those who are learning.
A real man honors women. Treating women like play toys or objects not only degrades the sanctity of womanhood, it undermines the fundamental design of manhood. A woman – no matter what the feminazi movement says – is special and precious; they should be treated as such. I mean seriously, do we really want our daughters to act like boys? I hope not.

There's my diatribe. If it came across as coarse and preachy, I told you the talk by Elder Christofferson was better. Be a man and take responsibility for reading a sub-par discourse. (Ha ha ha) Let's answer the call to arms, to step up to the plate and do that which we were created to do. Man wasn't created in the image of God (the perfect Man) to be subpar. Our challenge, fellas, is that we do it. Buck up and be men in the truest sense. Let’s “rise from the dust and be men”, being “true at all times in whatsoever thing [we are] entrusted.” The last thing the world needs is men after its kind; it needs men after His kind.