Tuesday, April 10, 2007

"Since You've Been Gone...

...I can breathe for the first time. Since you've been go-One..." Oh...this is a little embarrassing; you've caught me in a Kelly moment. Sheesh.
It’s been a while since I've posted, (the song reference was to this lapse, not my wife being out of town last week) so I’m just going to throw together a hodgepodge of events that have occurred because I have neither the time nor the inclination to write detailed descriptions. Plus, it’s sort of fun to have a fast, quick hitting post.

The Bachelor – Paula went to Utah this past week to hangout with her best friend Kami who just got back from her 1 ½ year church mission in Taiwan. So while they spent money and talked about the intricacies of Kami’s newest boy-toy out in the Rockies, I embraced one of the Seven Deadly Sins – sloth. I didn’t do a thing on my three-day weekend – between sleeping, Xboxing and sleeping, there wasn’t any time. When in Rome…

6 Degrees – I got this call from my brother Nathan late Friday night, almost Saturday morning. I missed it because i was in the other room, but the voicemail was: "Hey man, call me as soon as you get this." Then there was a text message with the same request. So I did. Twice. With no answer. I'm a little nervous, so the next morning I call. The urgent incident that made me worry? "Hey, I'm hanging out with Michael Eav and he has a good one for you for '6 Degrees to Kevin Bacon' and I wanted you to try it." (Hulk Hogan was in Rocky 3 with Sylvester Stalone [1] who was in Demolition Man with Benjamin Bratt [2] who was in Red Planet with Val Kilmer [3] who was in Top Gun with Tom Cruise [4] who was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon [5]. 'YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!')

The Big Chill – A couple weekends ago we were invited to Augusta to visit Greg and Melissa, our friends who recently embraced the connubial life. (Great word; look it up) In all we had a crew of 11 people at their house, ages 25 to 31, eating and laughing and eating some more. It was pretty awesome. I’d say the highlight of everyone’s weekend was the many different facial hair motifs of Greg. It started with a beard, transitioned to biker/mechanic and ended with this mustache that...how do I say this...you frequently see on an episode of Dateline’s ‘To Catch a Predator’ series. Hilarious.

Epitomizing Meatheads – I love BYU football. Love it; want it; need it. Anyway, this weekend a couple of morons were arrested for burglary when they went after some guys who tossed a water balloon out a window that got one of their girls. You can read the details here, but suffice it to say this linebacker and tight end kicked in a couple doors looking for the mischievous aqua-bomb lobbers. The funniest thing is the second door they kicked in was the right one, but the perps were hiding in a closet and the police showed up in the nick of time. Awesome.

It’s All About Sex – In a couple of weeks, (April 23rd) we find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. Yikes. The moment of truth. I think most people would have been nervous that they were expecting a child; not me. I’m nervous to find out what it is. If it’s a boy, I’ll be excited and not too nervous – my confidence is strong to very strong when it comes to raising a boy. If it’s a girl…I might need meds. I have no clue what to do with a girl. There are questions, no answers: How do I discipline her? How do I protect her? What do we name her? What happens if she looks like me? How will I console her if no boys ask her out on a date? How will Paula console me when they do? Most important: how can I decorate my daughter’s room in Cougar Blue?! AARRGHHH!

The Century Mark – Soon I’ll hit my 100th post. Like this week maybe. That’s a lot of posts. On Seinfeld, for the 100th episode they did this collage of episodes that was hilarious. Maybe I’ll do the same thing. The Greatest Posts in Cyber Commorancy History. Feel free to cast your votes. I think it might be a very small post. Here’s the plan: leave a comment about your favorite post. And I’ll share those with the world. Unless I don’t get a lot, then I’ll make some up. In a different font. With flashing lights. And streamers. Yeah, definitely streamers.

1 Comment:

Paula said...

very funny sweetie. I enjoyed this post very much.