Monday, March 26, 2007

Oprah's DEAD!

Disclaimer: For the record, I bear no malice towards Oprah. I don’t watch her show and while I don’t agree with some of her social views, I respect that she’s self-made and think she’s contributed to the betterment of society and helped a lot of people with her wealth.

I had this dream last night where I was a passenger on an airplane and somehow it came under attack. I don’t know how it happened or anything, it’s just being hijacked and everyone is in a lot of danger and there’s widespread panic.
Well, a couple of other people and I rush the cockpit in an effort to take it back from the hijackers before anything bad can happen. There’s gunfire and stuff and pretty soon I’m alone at the cockpit. I kick open the door and Oprah’s flying the plane. I’m amazed and think she’s saved the day. I say something like:
“Oprah, how’d you beat off the terrorists by yourself?”
And Oprah says, “It wasn’t that hard. You can go back to your seat and I’ll take it from here.”
I believe her because I figure she must have her own plane and, hey – she’s Oprah! But as I’m leaving I see the pilot on the ground and he’s been shot in the head; but there aren’t any bad guys around and I start to get suspicious. So I turn around to confront Oprah and she’s pointing a gun at me!
“Back off,” Oprah says. She’s the leader of the hijackers!
I tell her I can’t do that and we get in a tussle. I get the gun away from her and she sends the airplane into a dive, straight for the ground. So I grab her around the neck and start choking her until she goes limp.
I’ve killed Oprah!
Anyway, there’s all this beeping noise from all the navigation instruments in the cockpit and so I push Oprah’s body out of the seat and I start to fly the plane. It’s in a tailspin and getting really close to the ground, so all I can do is slow it down. We end up crash-landing in some field and most people survive and walk away. And I’m left trying to explain to the authorities why Oprah's dead. They believe me - that I had to do it - but a lot of people were still upset I’d killed her. I keep telling them I didn’t have a choice, that if I didn’t do it we’d have all died.
The last part of my dream I remember is I’m walking down the road past a gas station ( I think it was a Shell), distraught I had to kill someone and I look up and there’s Will Smith. And he asks:
“How’s it going?”
And I say, “Not too good.”
“Why not?”
“I killed Oprah.”
Then Will got mad.
“But I had to. She was going to kill everyone on the plane. I didn’t want to. She didn’t give me a choice.”
But Will still was all up in arms about it, so I just walked away as he yelled at me.


1 Comment:

Jeff said...

Very interesting. Is being back in the deep south bringing out your true roots?

BTW, how is your bracket?