Friday, December 23, 2005

Wedding 101

Paula and I are getting our engagement pictures taken sometime this week. I have mixed feelings about that, mostly because I'm not looking how I'd like to and this picture is sent to (literally) hundreds of households across the US and Canada. To be totally honest, it's a bit disconserting. My face and waist have amassed girth over the last couple months.
And basically, this is it. There will be people who will judge everything that I am by this picture: Relatives will judge if I'm family material; Paula's female friends will judge if I'm good enough looking for her; her guy friends - most of which have crushed on her at one point or another - will wonder 'Who's this goon?'; family friends will smile in approval or cringe in disbelief. All from this picture.
I've noticed some stuff about this wedding planning.
No one really cares about the guy. Seriously. Case(s) in point:
When the engaged female is seen for the first time after the engagement, everyone was like 'Let me see your ring' and there was squealing and hugging and more squealing. Meanwhile, the guy's just chillin' and as an afterthought, he's introduced. maybe.
When planning the wedding, the guy is asked for his opinionm but only rhetorically because if he doesn't like it, it's not his day.
The gifts registered for are 99.9% hers. They try to make the guy feel like a man by being able to pull the trigger of the radar 'gun' and 'shoot' the UPC code.
This isn't a sob thing. Frankly, the guy doesn't even care about the guy. He bought the ring, he'll shell out some cash for honeymoon, write a couple other checks and his job is done. I know when my opinion is asked for it is out of courtesy more than anything else.
And I'm fine with that. (sometimes for fun I'll voice a fake opinion and watch mayhem ensue)
Just show up at the appointed place, on the appointed day at the appointed time.
With the ring. Clean shaven. Without a baseball hat.
That's why I think a gay marriage would be impossible to plan. I think it's morally wrong, but just from a logistical standpoint, can you imagine the conflicts in the planning? Two people with actual opinions about color schemes, flowers, invitation styles, and dancing? The only reason a wedding can be planned in under 10 years or without it being called off is because one person does it and the other person nods their heads.


Anonymous said...

I really do care about your opinion!!!

Anonymous said...

You write so well and I laughed the whole way through this blog. You are so great and I just love you!